We gave Scout her first bath on Saturday night. We had the infant tub filled just enough with comfortably warm water, her little monkey hooded towel within arms reach. Erik placed her in the water and at first, it looked like she was going to scream her head off, much like her brother did during his first bath. She scrunched up her nose and eyes, her mouth went wide open and she took a big breath. But then, she just relaxed. She let us pour the warm water all over her fresh pink skin, over her mop of hair, and down her arms. She sat so peacefully, eyes wide open - she just enjoyed it. It would have made some great photos but I didn't bring out the camera. I didn't even take out my iPhone to snap a few quick shots. I just watched her face, I took her in. I drank in the image of Rowan sitting on the kitchen counter next to us, watching every move, equally amazed at her little tiny body laying calmly in the water. When she was finished, Erik passed her to me where I wrapped her up tight and gently dried her off and lathered her up in that divine-smelling baby lotion. I let my fingers run over her now-curly wet hair, smooth skin and I just loved the way she looked at me with those big baby eyes when I told her she was such a brave girl. Rowan pointed at the bath and the towel and said something in his little language that only he can understand. I savored every moment. Nothing disconnected me from my kids in that sweet first-time event, not the screen of a phone or the viewfinder of my DSLR. I just savored it slowly.
Last year was my Year of Yes. I said Yes to every big opportunity that presented itself. I refused to say no. I jumped in with two feet and just DID things. It was a rewarding experience and I learned so much about taking risks over the last year... but the problem I ran against was after saying yes, I didn't really take the time to enjoy what I was doing. I didn't take the time to stop and appreciate the things I did the way they should have been appreciated. I ran through it all as fast as I could, eyes half-closed and focused on the finish line.
It feels like I missed so much.
And looking back over the course of my life, that's always been my tendency - to rush, to get it done, to finish and check things off lists. I'm tired of lists, I'm tired of seeing things from a rearview mirror, and I'm tired of everything playing in fast-forward. I'm tired of missing out on my own life.
It's time to enjoy what's in front of me, rather than just get through it.
This year, I'm determined to miss as little as I can. I have so many exciting things happening this year, between the arrival of Scout, writing a book and everything in between, I simply don't want to miss a moment. I want to drink it in, taste and see that it's good. I want to stop and admire. I want to slow down.
I want to savor it all.
So, that's my word for 2013.